Mr Sandman, I'm so alone
by Macetree
Summary: The Sandman wasn t alone on his journey to Earth all those centuries ago. In fact, he's never considered himself to be a loner at all. Also, for someone who never says a word, the Sandman can be very poetic. Contains fluffy heterosexual love. Not really a gender-swap, just a serious, long-lasting miscommunication. I hope you enjoy it, and please leave some feedback!
1. Chapter 1

Sandy had been worried about having so many frequent meetings at first, but now he found himself looking forward to them. The group had quickly transitioned from progress reports about their jobs (he had fallen asleep countless times during those), to simply playing games and enjoying each other´s company.

This week, it was Tooth's turn to choose, and she had brought a board game with some marbles and die.

"Aggravation? I have not played zis in years! I call red!"

"Blue!" dibbsed Jack, who had about half a dozen tooth fairy minis cuddled into his hood, hair and hoodie pocket.

Sandy pointed to himself, or, more specifically, his yellow-gold color, and Tooth chose pink. Bunnymund wasn't at the meeting, but if he had been he probably would have chosen green. Actually, Jack likely would have been the one to choose green, just to annoy him.

Tooth and North explained the simple rules of the game, then they all set up their colored marbles and began playing. It was surprisingly fun, for a board game; especially because Jack and North were so competitive and kept condemning each other to restart. The banter increased as they "killed" each other's marbles whenever the dice gave them the chance, even if it meant slower advancement for their own pieces. The game required little strategy, and the Dreamweaver soon found his eyes wandering around, eventually landing on the game's partially filled box. There were still a few extra marble teams inside it: five green marbles, five white and five black.

_How appropriate those colors are, _he thought. _Perhaps if things had turned out differently all those centuries ago, we might have been using all of those marbles.__  
_  
This thought tied to another, much more habitual thought.

_I wonder what Manny is doing right now._

He gazed up through one of the windows, catching sight of the sliver of pale moon.

"Sandy, your turn!"

He turned back to his friends and smiled, rolled the dice, and moved one of his yellow pieces forward four spots. Then he returned to his distraction with a soundless sigh.

He looked back at the mystical moon and tried to imagine the lone inhabitant of his favorite celestial rock. His habit of doing this was more engrained in him than sending dreams was. It happened so often and so colorfully, that after so many centuries, he no longer noticed himself doing it.  
_  
__I wonder if she misses me as desperately as I long for her._


	2. Chapter 2

The others still thought she was a man. It was mostly because of North's misguided influence, though Sandy hadn't just stayed on the sidelines.

He had tried telling North that the "Man In Moon" was really Woman on Moon, but at the time, he had just met the Russian. . . so very many things had gotten lost in translation during that first meeting, and Sandy was too much of a gentleman to make any specific, language surpassing signs to express 'woman.'

So, he had allowed his new friend to believe she was male. In the centuries since then he had tried multiple times to correct the misconception, but the others all thought it was just a strange joke by now, and they laughed appropriately. He suspected that Bunnymund had caught on, but Pooka must have thought the mistake was harmless (or hilarious) because he never said a word to put the others on the right path.

"Sorry Sandy! I had to kill one of your guys, but I had no choice!" apologized Tooth.

Sandy nodded understandingly and took his turn.

Manizok hadn't been upset about it when he told her. In fact, if anything she had been amused! He remembered hearing her deep alto laugh as they chatted about it telepathically.

They used to talk so often.

Why had they stopped?

He grimaced.

'They,' hadn't. 'He' had.

It had been over three centuries since he had last heard her soothing voice in his mind. Looking at Jack, guardian of three months, he now realized why.

_She must have been exhausted after changing him, _he thought_. I wonder how she did it? Jack is elementally more powerful than North or Tooth, so the process must've been drastically draining for her. . . _

"Your turn, Sandy!"

He took his turn, then looked toward his best friend again, focusing on opening his mind to her.

"_Manny? Can you hear me?" _

No answer.

_She must be angry with me. . . Or still exhausted, _he thought to himself.

"_I'm sorry for not trying to talk to you for so long. I feel awful. Now that I understand why you didn't answer. . . I´m a fool for not guessing it earlier. I should have known you had a good reason. I don't deserve you. I shouldn't have stopped reaching out to you."_

The other three were so engrossed in their game that they didn't notice Sandy's aching expression, or the miniature broken heart floating above his head.

"_None of this would've happened if I had stayed with you instead of insisting on returning here. I'm so sorry, Manny, what have I done to you?"_

Despite her sudden silence, he had kept talking to her for a long, long time. It wasn't until about 30 years ago that he stopped hoping for an answer. "_Maybe she is angry with me?"_ he had thought. He had combed his brain for a reason why, and had eventually chalked it up to being because he hadn't visited her in person for so long.

_Or maybe she has her eye on another man_.

He had become angry then, and had given her silence a piece of his mind. It wasn't his fault that his ship had been destroyed by Pitch! And with his guardian responsibilities that _she_ had insisted he take up, how was _he_ supposed to find the time or the impossible means to get to her _and_ back without abandoning the children?!

He had avoided looking at her home for a month after that, but then his heart had betrayed his shredded feelings, and he shamefully apologized; not just for lecturing her, but also for doubting her, and for lacking the power to somehow return to her.


	3. Chapter 3

And yet, she still hadn't answered.

After apologizing, his guilt had lessened significantly, but some rash of resentment still remained. He had decided to maintain his habit of telling her good morning and goodnight, and to rehearse to her any funny little things that he had seen or heard during his work or his increased socializing with other spirits. . . But he held back from opening his soul to her like he once had.

"Sandy, it's your turn again!"

The Sandman mechanically rolled the dice and moved the first yellow marble he saw forward two spaces.

Despite the rationalizing and his attempts to make more friends, the loneliness had been suffocating him. But now that he finally realized the reason why, he clenched his eyes shut and violently berated himself for not figuring out the answer the day Jack was called to become a guardian.

_ I've wasted three months by feeling sorry for myself instead of fixing this! Instead of putting two and two together. . . _

_. . . If I've been so painfully lonely here on a planet full of people and spirits, how has she been surviving? I'm her only tie to the world, and I cut her off after only 270 petty years of silence._

At this very moment, the monster was still keeping his mind open for her to answer. . . something he hadn't done in 30 years. After taking another two turns in the game, he shamefully closed it as a headache was beginning to knock behind his eyes.

_I'm out of practice. I've been thinking only of myself, when I should have been the man I promised her I would always be. . . _

He looked at Jack. The boy was laughing in an animatedly wicked way as he replaced another one of North's pieces. Despite his sudden regret and melancholy, Sandy couldn't help smiling at his young friend.

_Well at least I did that right, _he thought._ I was the first person to talk to Jack after he changed 300 years ago, and I always took a minute or two to chat with him whenever I could after that. At least I didn't leave _him_ alone. . ._

Looking at the boy now, he couldn't help bud of revelation from blossoming in his brain. Since Manny had made the boy an immortal, in a way, he was her child! He was certainly pale enough, and Jack did have similar coloring to hers in his hair and eyes. Granted, he was much taller than her, and many times skinnier.

Sandy's thoughts returned to his beloved.

_Oh, Manizok! Nigh meter tall, half meter wide, face dumplinged as donut dough, her kiss to my blind heart gives light, my path from dark corners she shows. _

His smile changed to one of longing, and he reached out to her again with his mind.

"_Manny, do you remember when we first met? I knew my heart, for you, was set. When I gaze into the cold morning skies, I see only your bright star-sprinkled eyes. Your sugary touch I crave when soft petals I brush. . . Does your heart ache for mine as much. . .?"_

He hadn't noticed, but he had pivoted in mid-air, and was now floating in front of the nearest window, his brown orbs searching for any sign of her on the far silver sliver.

"_Forgive me, my Love. Forgive me for allowing myself to be tied so tightly to this rock, for thinking I could bear the separation from your peaceful presence. Forgive me for-"_

"_I miss you too, Sanderson."_

His golden hands shot up to the thick glass as if its blasted interference alone was keeping her out of his reach.

"_Manny! My life! My eternity! My heartbeat! I love you so much, Darling. . . I live for you, I always have. . ." _

He stayed like this, completely lost to the confused and worried stares of his questioning friends. He held his mind open, anxious to hear her voice again while savoring what little she had enormously said; rolling her words over and over in his mind and replaying the sound of her soft, creamy voice again and again.

After a minute of still silence, and finally unable to ignore the sharp, consistent hammering behind his eyes, he said his regretful goodbye.

"_I'll speak to you soon, my Dearest. I'll talk to you every day and more, and you need not strain to reply. Now that I know you can hear me, I'll send you dreams in words from today until the end of time. . . Think of me, and know that my soul's true adoration of you has never dimmed, and never shall. . . " _

He kept the connection open for just a minute more, then allowed it to dissolve like honey in tea. He stroked the glass so, so gently, just where the moon could be seen from his perspective; remembering all the times he had stroked her soft white freckled face, and how she had smiled and caressed his hair in return. . . then he let out a silent sigh.

Turning around, he was jolted back to the present, like a distracted driver to a red light.

"Sandy, are you alright?" asked Tooth. The other two looked just as concerned as she did, and had he not been so startled he would have laughed at their seriousness.

He recovered quickly though, and nodded enthusiastically, a check mark appearing above his head.

"Did Manny speak to you?" asked North.

This time, Sandy did let out a proud chuckle as he shrugged his shoulders.

_She did, but I'm not telling _you_ what she said. . ._ He thought warmly.

He looked past his worried friends and to the game they had been playing. Figuring it was probably his turn, he floated over the three guardians and settled into his previous chair. He rolled the dice, resulting in a six. By then the others had come over, but they still looked uncomfortable.

Since a six meant you got two turns, Sandy used the first one to enter a new yellow piece onto the board. Incidentally, Jack had had a marble on Sandy's starting place, resulting in him "killing" the blue marble and sending it back to Jack's starting section. The loss pulled Jack out of his concern, and the teen scowled playfully.

"Oh, it is _on_, Little Man!"

Sandy merely sent the boy a sly look, then rolled for his second turn. The other three were now sitting in their seats as well, so North had a perfect view when Sandy decided to kill one of his red marbles instead of taking a shortcut. The red marble had been just a few spaces from reaching North's finished zone.

The sandman looked up at North with an expression of mock surprise, his lips forming a small o. He raised his hand to his mouth, as if to say "_gasp! What have I done!"_

North pursed his lips and shook his head.

"You are on naughty list, now!"

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Manny watched her golden lover through her telescope, and laughed as he taunted North.

"Silly boy," she said with a tired, yet adoring and plump smile. "You are always too hard on yourself, Darling. I've never once questioned your faith, my Dream, not even for star's wink."

. . . . . . . . . . . .

The game continued, and the distraction was soon forgotten by all but the Sandman himself. Looking back at the white marbles in the box, his mind was filled with memories of his courtship with Manny on her glowing white sphere, how angelic she had looked in her milky dress the first time he saw her, and how her silvery eyes reflected his golden light the last time he had kissed her goodbye. . .

He turned most of his focus on the game, but also started putting together a poem in his head.

It was nothing special, really. . .

Just a small token of love. . .

. . . For his beloved wife.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

There it is, ladies and gentlemen! Please leave a review telling me what you thought about_ Mr. Sandman, I'm So Alone_, or if there's something you think I could've done better. I hope you enjoyed this, and I'll be posting more ROTG stories soon!


End file.
